February 25, 2012
February 20, 2012
To laugh, or not to laugh
I think my sauerkraut video is hilarious.
But that's just me.
SPEAKING OF WHICH,
What is up with people laughing at things that just aren't funny? And what's up with people NOT laughing at things that are funny because they're silly? Silly is pretty fucking funny, too. Something absurd or poking fun at something. I noticed someone at work's autoreply email thingie was saying she'd be out of the office until "Feb 17nd." She's by no means a dummy, it was just a case of not paying attention to what she was typing over. (She was reusing the copy from her last out-of-office note where she was gone on the 2nd or 22nd, etc.) Still, when I read it, it made me chuckle, especially since she's usually on top of catching things like that. I thought it was cute. Guess I was the only one.
I hate when you're the only one who finds something funny and then people won't even let you enjoy it. I've had people give me those "whateverrrrr," eye rolling looks for no good reason just because I'm laughing. Because they don't understand it, they don't want me to either. Get over yourself.
Today someone posted this 3-minute video of Mario (from Super Mario Brothers) smoking weed then trying to blow up this castle. He went through so many minutes of throwing bombs and fireballs at it. All this blood from the video game creatures he was throwing at it started collecting on the sides of the castle. Then he finally gave up and walked up to the castle door and started pounding his fists on it. The castle crumbled into dust and Mario won the game. A green 1-up mushroom popped out and Mario missed it. It slid into the castle and the castle 1-upped, getting its life back, and was instantly rebuilt. I totally understand why it was supposed to be funny. The 1-up was for Mario and the castle ended up getting it, thereby defeating all of Mario's hard work to destroy the castle. But for three effing minutes?! It was so boring (and having the little pixelated Mario smoking weed was totally unnecessary, as was all the pixelated blood on the outer walls of the castle), but the person who posted it said he thought it was so funny he was crying at the end. Maybe it was stoner humor.
Humor's a funny (and sometimes not funny) thing.
But that's just me.
SPEAKING OF WHICH,
What is up with people laughing at things that just aren't funny? And what's up with people NOT laughing at things that are funny because they're silly? Silly is pretty fucking funny, too. Something absurd or poking fun at something. I noticed someone at work's autoreply email thingie was saying she'd be out of the office until "Feb 17nd." She's by no means a dummy, it was just a case of not paying attention to what she was typing over. (She was reusing the copy from her last out-of-office note where she was gone on the 2nd or 22nd, etc.) Still, when I read it, it made me chuckle, especially since she's usually on top of catching things like that. I thought it was cute. Guess I was the only one.
I hate when you're the only one who finds something funny and then people won't even let you enjoy it. I've had people give me those "whateverrrrr," eye rolling looks for no good reason just because I'm laughing. Because they don't understand it, they don't want me to either. Get over yourself.
Today someone posted this 3-minute video of Mario (from Super Mario Brothers) smoking weed then trying to blow up this castle. He went through so many minutes of throwing bombs and fireballs at it. All this blood from the video game creatures he was throwing at it started collecting on the sides of the castle. Then he finally gave up and walked up to the castle door and started pounding his fists on it. The castle crumbled into dust and Mario won the game. A green 1-up mushroom popped out and Mario missed it. It slid into the castle and the castle 1-upped, getting its life back, and was instantly rebuilt. I totally understand why it was supposed to be funny. The 1-up was for Mario and the castle ended up getting it, thereby defeating all of Mario's hard work to destroy the castle. But for three effing minutes?! It was so boring (and having the little pixelated Mario smoking weed was totally unnecessary, as was all the pixelated blood on the outer walls of the castle), but the person who posted it said he thought it was so funny he was crying at the end. Maybe it was stoner humor.
Humor's a funny (and sometimes not funny) thing.
high school
This kid i went to school with from K-12, but barely ever spoke to--except for when he was trying to one-up me academically--just added me on Facebook. It's so funny that he's trying to reconnect with me because we really rarely ever spoke. We were never friends and when we were in the same class in 7th grade, he and I would always get the highest scores on tests and he'd try to make it into a competition to see if he did better than me, the little brat lol. I'll add him in a little bit, but I just find it amusing.
February 14, 2012
God is the tenant who won't move out
There are only so many people who understand.
(One.)
I either need to believe-----------------
Or I need not to believe.
Hyphens make me feel so much more dramatic and emphasassy.
I don't know about all this Catholicism. All this God in my head. I'm afraid to believe and I'm afraid not to believe. Sometimes at night on the weekends, I'll talk myself into believing there are ghosts behind me who move quickly as I turn my head to see if they're actually there. It's perfect. No one to save me. I'm excellent at scaring myself. And scarring myself. If God exists, Catechism tells me the ghosts do, too. You can't have God without the demons. Hum a little hymn. Take the God with the bad.
As of late, all I can handle is a Hail Mary as I psych myself to sleep. A woman wouldn't hurt me, but a man on the other hand...
-----------
P.S. What do all the Christianities have against Mary, anyway? Jealous much?
(One.)
I either need to believe-----------------
Or I need not to believe.
Hyphens make me feel so much more dramatic and emphasassy.
I don't know about all this Catholicism. All this God in my head. I'm afraid to believe and I'm afraid not to believe. Sometimes at night on the weekends, I'll talk myself into believing there are ghosts behind me who move quickly as I turn my head to see if they're actually there. It's perfect. No one to save me. I'm excellent at scaring myself. And scarring myself. If God exists, Catechism tells me the ghosts do, too. You can't have God without the demons. Hum a little hymn. Take the God with the bad.
As of late, all I can handle is a Hail Mary as I psych myself to sleep. A woman wouldn't hurt me, but a man on the other hand...
-----------
P.S. What do all the Christianities have against Mary, anyway? Jealous much?
February 13, 2012
February 10, 2012
watermelon brains
I'm starting to think that I stopped letting myself get enough sleep because subconsciously I didn't want to deal with the disturbing dreams I'd have if I'd let myself get enough sleep.
Last night I dreamt I was at my parents' house. It kept switching between being inside and outside, but I think mostly it was outside because there was some flying going on. Asshead, my very first "boyfriend" ever (although I hate to even call him a boyfriend after what he put me through), was in it as the aggressor, as he usually is.
Up in front of this cupboard thing that we had to fly to get to, there were hovering plates where holograms of objects would appear and solidify into whatever they were showing. For some reason he and I were "together" in this dream, although I hated and feared him and did not want to have any sort of involvement with him. I think he had "claimed" me or something like that in the dream. It was as if he were a demon--long greasy hair, dressed all in black. We were fighting about who got to keep their own apartment, although I think it would be more accurate to say we were gambling or playing a game of chance because of how these hovering plates worked. I don't know why someone had to lose their apartment in the dream, but that's what was going on. We had to look at the hovering plates and if a cake showed up in one, it meant that whoever touched it got to keep living in their apartment and not have to move. Someone beyond us was controlling the plates, and ultimately my fate.
(At some point during all this, a picture/collage of Jesus showed up next to the plates. Jesus was kind of "alive" in it and could react to what I was saying via facial expressions, almost like the "alive" paintings in Harry Potter. I started yelling at Jesus for allowing this game to happen. His face started to contort into some kind of anger, but I kept yelling at him, basically telling him to shut up and listen and his facial expression calmed down. It's really interesting to me that this part of the dream happened because normally something like that would scare me, but at this point, Asshead was the scarier situation, not that I was yelling furiously at the Son of God.)
I really wanted to keep my apartment because it somehow meant that I wouldn't have to move in with him. I think if I "lost" the deal that I'd be bound to him. Right before a cake was supposed to appear on a hovering plate, I had remembered that he wasn't even living in his own apartment anymore, that he was living with his mom. I tried to reason with him, but he was being incredibly selfish by saying that he was going to touch the cake so he could keep this apartment that he wasn't even living in--an apartment he didn't even own and would have to pay rent for. It made no sense and he was doing it so he could control me. I reminded him that he didn't need it, but he didn't listen. It was a very sneaky move on his part to act like he needed that apartment.
Unfortunately, right after I told Asshead he shouldn't be able to keep it, a plastic cartoonish cake appeared on a plate closer to him, he reached over and touched it as quickly as he could. He had this "too bad for you," attitude when he did it and I was so upset.
Seeing as how he'd just "won," he started coming after me. I could fly, so as in all my flying dreams, I was fighting to fly but could only manage to get about an inch or so above his fingertips, just barely escaping his grasp.
I floated around, trying to get away but it wasn't working and I had to land in this apple tree in my parents' front yard. Apple trees aren't that tall so he started running toward me and almost got me, but something happened and he turned into a watermelon. Quickly, we (I think my sister was there) picked up the watermelon and I remember it sort of had a crack in it so I threw it hard onto the ground from over the railing of the front deck. I knew that the watermelon was his head and that when it broke open on the gravel driveway that he would have to be dead/destroyed because his brains were coming out of his skull.
EXCEPT...
I turned my back, ready to get away from there, relieved he was finally gone, only to hear the scrambling sound of his body morphing back into his human form, completely unharmed. From there, he started chasing me again almost Exorcist crab-walk style and I woke up.
Last night I dreamt I was at my parents' house. It kept switching between being inside and outside, but I think mostly it was outside because there was some flying going on. Asshead, my very first "boyfriend" ever (although I hate to even call him a boyfriend after what he put me through), was in it as the aggressor, as he usually is.
Up in front of this cupboard thing that we had to fly to get to, there were hovering plates where holograms of objects would appear and solidify into whatever they were showing. For some reason he and I were "together" in this dream, although I hated and feared him and did not want to have any sort of involvement with him. I think he had "claimed" me or something like that in the dream. It was as if he were a demon--long greasy hair, dressed all in black. We were fighting about who got to keep their own apartment, although I think it would be more accurate to say we were gambling or playing a game of chance because of how these hovering plates worked. I don't know why someone had to lose their apartment in the dream, but that's what was going on. We had to look at the hovering plates and if a cake showed up in one, it meant that whoever touched it got to keep living in their apartment and not have to move. Someone beyond us was controlling the plates, and ultimately my fate.
(At some point during all this, a picture/collage of Jesus showed up next to the plates. Jesus was kind of "alive" in it and could react to what I was saying via facial expressions, almost like the "alive" paintings in Harry Potter. I started yelling at Jesus for allowing this game to happen. His face started to contort into some kind of anger, but I kept yelling at him, basically telling him to shut up and listen and his facial expression calmed down. It's really interesting to me that this part of the dream happened because normally something like that would scare me, but at this point, Asshead was the scarier situation, not that I was yelling furiously at the Son of God.)
I really wanted to keep my apartment because it somehow meant that I wouldn't have to move in with him. I think if I "lost" the deal that I'd be bound to him. Right before a cake was supposed to appear on a hovering plate, I had remembered that he wasn't even living in his own apartment anymore, that he was living with his mom. I tried to reason with him, but he was being incredibly selfish by saying that he was going to touch the cake so he could keep this apartment that he wasn't even living in--an apartment he didn't even own and would have to pay rent for. It made no sense and he was doing it so he could control me. I reminded him that he didn't need it, but he didn't listen. It was a very sneaky move on his part to act like he needed that apartment.
Unfortunately, right after I told Asshead he shouldn't be able to keep it, a plastic cartoonish cake appeared on a plate closer to him, he reached over and touched it as quickly as he could. He had this "too bad for you," attitude when he did it and I was so upset.
Seeing as how he'd just "won," he started coming after me. I could fly, so as in all my flying dreams, I was fighting to fly but could only manage to get about an inch or so above his fingertips, just barely escaping his grasp.
I floated around, trying to get away but it wasn't working and I had to land in this apple tree in my parents' front yard. Apple trees aren't that tall so he started running toward me and almost got me, but something happened and he turned into a watermelon. Quickly, we (I think my sister was there) picked up the watermelon and I remember it sort of had a crack in it so I threw it hard onto the ground from over the railing of the front deck. I knew that the watermelon was his head and that when it broke open on the gravel driveway that he would have to be dead/destroyed because his brains were coming out of his skull.
EXCEPT...
I turned my back, ready to get away from there, relieved he was finally gone, only to hear the scrambling sound of his body morphing back into his human form, completely unharmed. From there, he started chasing me again almost Exorcist crab-walk style and I woke up.
February 4, 2012
friend end, part 2
I ignored her for about a month. I figured I owed her an explanation if I'm going to just stop being friends with her so she at least knows. I don't really know what I want to say to her so basically I'm just keeping my distance at this point until it's clear what I want to do with the remaining friendship I have left with her, if any at all.
I unblocked her from IM so she IM'd me and we spoke for a little bit while I was at work. She first asked if I was OK because she was beginning to worry about me that there might be something wrong since I hadn't spoken to her in a while. (We used to talk about every day or every couple days. We went from that to nothing.) After I told her I was fine, I asked her about her new apartment and from there on the conversation was mostly about her.
She went on and on about different things that had happened to her, how she went with her sister to look at apartments for her sister's friend and her sister ignored her to talk to the rental agent who was driving them around, then she told me about how the rental agent was rude to her (she told me what happened and the "rude" part is debatable), then she had some food mishap stories to tell me. She didn't really ask me about what I was up to, which I kind of expected because one of the problems I'd been having with her is that she'd go on about her troubles, but when I tried to talk about mine it didn't really seem like she cared much or had anything to say. Normally she'd just change the subject abruptly or would start telling me stories about people I don't even know who she barely knows. I'm sorry, but I don't really care what her boyfriend's brother's wife did on Saturday.
I feel bad saying this. I used to get enjoyment out of gabbing about ourselves and other people, but it's kind of getting to the point where she's talking about other people who I don't know and who aren't even really her friends and/or a big part of her life. I'm not saying that I never want to hear about them at all, but most of her stories are about these relatives of her bf and she doesn't even really like them. Plus, there are so many brothers and sisters that she mentions them by name like I'm supposed to remember them and all their info. They're not even that exciting sounding, either. Maybe I'm just being a brat or even a hypocrite without realizing it, but I don't want to hear about how they went to another bar and bossed her bf around like they always do. I mean, if she cares so much about it, she could say something to them about it instead of just getting mad at her BF later for letting his siblings boss him around.
Oy.
So during our conversation she mentioned she was going to keep her distance from her sister because she was rude to her during their time with the rental agent. Ironic, seeing as how the reason she and I hadn't spoken for a month was because I wanted to keep my distance from her after she was rude to me regarding that money she claimed I owed her dad when she really owed it to him.
Ahem.
So now the whole time we were talking about her new apartment, I didn't want to ask if she'd found another roommate to take her place since she'd had like 5 months left on her lease. I knew it would make me mad to hear that she'd just moved out without finding herself a replacement roommate. Basically what happened was she messed up her relationship with the roommate in her previous apartment, got the OK from the landlord to move out IF she found another roommate, couldn't find a roommate, then found another apartment and moved in there without giving notice or anything.
Before we stopped talking, I told her how bad of an idea it was to just stop paying rent and move out. Her mom ENCOURAGED her to do this. She already has a horrible credit/financial history and I told her that if she just up and left that her landlords could sue her for the money and she'd be in even bigger trouble. Plus, I know in CA you can get a complaint filed against you by your landlord that future potential landlords can look up. They can deny you an apartment because of a bad rental record. I thought I'd talked her out of it, because she seemed to understand my reasoning, but something happened and she did what her mom said to do and left without finding a replacement roommate.
This morning she sent me an email confirming what I didn't want to hear. Now the landlord at the place she moved out of is threatening to send debt collectors after her if she doesn't at least pay one more month's rent and let them keep the security deposit, which I find completely fair, considering that she owes them about 3-4 months of rent, which might be about $2000.
I honestly don't know what she expected from me when she wrote me the email about what was going on. Sympathy? I wish I had some to give her, but I don't. It's not even an "I told you so" type of moment for me, either. Mostly I'm just upset that she's acting irresponsibly and her mother is her "enabler." When the going gets tough, she literally gets going. She's always been this way and I just wish her mother wouldn't encourage that behavior. She's my age--she should know how to be somewhat responsible at this point. I can completely understand being in debt, and even being in a lot of debt because of having made some major mistakes as an older teen or a young twenty-something. I understand having made financial mistakes. It happens. What I don't understand is not learning from mistakes or, at the very least, not putting in any effort to try to improve or make the situation better. By letting this happen and inviting more debt collectors to come after her, she's just digging herself deeper into this hole. What if her landlord sues her? She might have to pay for a lawyer or end up paying the entire amount of rent if a judge reads the lease and sees that she's in violation. I'm not 100% sure how this works, but they might even be able to take money out of her paycheck to pay the landlord, which would mean she might not make enough money at her job to pay for her new rent, which will give her even more problems. When she makes big decisions like this, they're often shortsighted because she's fleeing from something that's upsetting her. I sincerely want her to be able to break this pattern and be able to take care of herself.
Ultimately it's not my job to worry about this. It's not my job to support or encourage her when she's making what I consider to be terrible decisions. It's not my job to lie to her. It's her responsibility to be responsible.
I unblocked her from IM so she IM'd me and we spoke for a little bit while I was at work. She first asked if I was OK because she was beginning to worry about me that there might be something wrong since I hadn't spoken to her in a while. (We used to talk about every day or every couple days. We went from that to nothing.) After I told her I was fine, I asked her about her new apartment and from there on the conversation was mostly about her.
She went on and on about different things that had happened to her, how she went with her sister to look at apartments for her sister's friend and her sister ignored her to talk to the rental agent who was driving them around, then she told me about how the rental agent was rude to her (she told me what happened and the "rude" part is debatable), then she had some food mishap stories to tell me. She didn't really ask me about what I was up to, which I kind of expected because one of the problems I'd been having with her is that she'd go on about her troubles, but when I tried to talk about mine it didn't really seem like she cared much or had anything to say. Normally she'd just change the subject abruptly or would start telling me stories about people I don't even know who she barely knows. I'm sorry, but I don't really care what her boyfriend's brother's wife did on Saturday.
I feel bad saying this. I used to get enjoyment out of gabbing about ourselves and other people, but it's kind of getting to the point where she's talking about other people who I don't know and who aren't even really her friends and/or a big part of her life. I'm not saying that I never want to hear about them at all, but most of her stories are about these relatives of her bf and she doesn't even really like them. Plus, there are so many brothers and sisters that she mentions them by name like I'm supposed to remember them and all their info. They're not even that exciting sounding, either. Maybe I'm just being a brat or even a hypocrite without realizing it, but I don't want to hear about how they went to another bar and bossed her bf around like they always do. I mean, if she cares so much about it, she could say something to them about it instead of just getting mad at her BF later for letting his siblings boss him around.
Oy.
So during our conversation she mentioned she was going to keep her distance from her sister because she was rude to her during their time with the rental agent. Ironic, seeing as how the reason she and I hadn't spoken for a month was because I wanted to keep my distance from her after she was rude to me regarding that money she claimed I owed her dad when she really owed it to him.
Ahem.
So now the whole time we were talking about her new apartment, I didn't want to ask if she'd found another roommate to take her place since she'd had like 5 months left on her lease. I knew it would make me mad to hear that she'd just moved out without finding herself a replacement roommate. Basically what happened was she messed up her relationship with the roommate in her previous apartment, got the OK from the landlord to move out IF she found another roommate, couldn't find a roommate, then found another apartment and moved in there without giving notice or anything.
Before we stopped talking, I told her how bad of an idea it was to just stop paying rent and move out. Her mom ENCOURAGED her to do this. She already has a horrible credit/financial history and I told her that if she just up and left that her landlords could sue her for the money and she'd be in even bigger trouble. Plus, I know in CA you can get a complaint filed against you by your landlord that future potential landlords can look up. They can deny you an apartment because of a bad rental record. I thought I'd talked her out of it, because she seemed to understand my reasoning, but something happened and she did what her mom said to do and left without finding a replacement roommate.
This morning she sent me an email confirming what I didn't want to hear. Now the landlord at the place she moved out of is threatening to send debt collectors after her if she doesn't at least pay one more month's rent and let them keep the security deposit, which I find completely fair, considering that she owes them about 3-4 months of rent, which might be about $2000.
I honestly don't know what she expected from me when she wrote me the email about what was going on. Sympathy? I wish I had some to give her, but I don't. It's not even an "I told you so" type of moment for me, either. Mostly I'm just upset that she's acting irresponsibly and her mother is her "enabler." When the going gets tough, she literally gets going. She's always been this way and I just wish her mother wouldn't encourage that behavior. She's my age--she should know how to be somewhat responsible at this point. I can completely understand being in debt, and even being in a lot of debt because of having made some major mistakes as an older teen or a young twenty-something. I understand having made financial mistakes. It happens. What I don't understand is not learning from mistakes or, at the very least, not putting in any effort to try to improve or make the situation better. By letting this happen and inviting more debt collectors to come after her, she's just digging herself deeper into this hole. What if her landlord sues her? She might have to pay for a lawyer or end up paying the entire amount of rent if a judge reads the lease and sees that she's in violation. I'm not 100% sure how this works, but they might even be able to take money out of her paycheck to pay the landlord, which would mean she might not make enough money at her job to pay for her new rent, which will give her even more problems. When she makes big decisions like this, they're often shortsighted because she's fleeing from something that's upsetting her. I sincerely want her to be able to break this pattern and be able to take care of herself.
Ultimately it's not my job to worry about this. It's not my job to support or encourage her when she's making what I consider to be terrible decisions. It's not my job to lie to her. It's her responsibility to be responsible.
February 3, 2012
complexes are so complex, man
This (cute) outgoing guy from work added me on LinkedIn tonight. We've only ever talked two times, once at a happy hour and another time when he invited me to go to another happy hour, which I had to decline, but he wrote me a note after I accepted his add that kind of made me wonder. He basically was letting me know that he was let go and that he wanted to message me before I forgot who he was.
I have a history of silently going through all kinds of emotions when people are fired or laid off from work. Honestly, I really care about some of the people who've left, usually more than they care about me. One person in particular kind of upset me when she only let a small circle of people (myself excluded) know she was leaving and then I didn't even get invited to go to lunch with her a couple months afterward. (A group of coworkers went out to meet with her.) A lot of the time at work I feel like people like me, but that they like other co-workers more, even though they work closer with me. I'm a little sad that I'm no one's favorite. I often feel like I'm the third wheel or the odd girl out. Granted, many of the people are super outgoing and loud and I'm not, so I think that could be why things are the way they are. I'm totally down with the quiet folk, and the loud folk are down with each other.
Keeping this little complex of mine in mind, I found it surprising that a guy I'd only spoken to a couple of times had actually thought of me and wanted add me on LinkedIn and give me his personal info. I guess I just would have expected him to forget about me and disappear just like everyone else has when they've left the company.
So basically I wrote him a note back saying I was sorry to hear about his job and offered to let him know if I heard of anyone looking to hire someone who has his skills. Then I signed off with my email address.
He wrote back a little while later saying he was fine and would appreciate any job leads I had...and then he made a confession lol. It wasn't an "I've been longing for you since the moment I set eyes on you" type confession or anything. Basically he commented on some of my cube decor and said that he had thought of playing a trick on me where he would switch some of it out to see if I noticed. His comment was pretty funny and made me l-o-l. He ended it with an "I don't know why I told you that," which kind of makes me think there's a reason for his messaging. That's the kind of think I'd say when I'm flirting. In fact, he kind of reminds me of my exbf (Mayor Baby) who was very outgoing in the same way.
I don't know. I could be so sleep deprived that I'm reading too much into it. Maybe I'm too skeptical of people. Maybe there is a reason for him messaging me, maybe there isn't. After all, he's new to the area. Maybe he just wants more friends. I think one of the girls at work said she thinks he has a gf because she saw him with a girl at the grocery store. Who knows?
I guess most of all, it's just nice that someone who's leaving but who doesn't really know me, WANTS to get to know me and keep in touch.
I have a history of silently going through all kinds of emotions when people are fired or laid off from work. Honestly, I really care about some of the people who've left, usually more than they care about me. One person in particular kind of upset me when she only let a small circle of people (myself excluded) know she was leaving and then I didn't even get invited to go to lunch with her a couple months afterward. (A group of coworkers went out to meet with her.) A lot of the time at work I feel like people like me, but that they like other co-workers more, even though they work closer with me. I'm a little sad that I'm no one's favorite. I often feel like I'm the third wheel or the odd girl out. Granted, many of the people are super outgoing and loud and I'm not, so I think that could be why things are the way they are. I'm totally down with the quiet folk, and the loud folk are down with each other.
Keeping this little complex of mine in mind, I found it surprising that a guy I'd only spoken to a couple of times had actually thought of me and wanted add me on LinkedIn and give me his personal info. I guess I just would have expected him to forget about me and disappear just like everyone else has when they've left the company.
So basically I wrote him a note back saying I was sorry to hear about his job and offered to let him know if I heard of anyone looking to hire someone who has his skills. Then I signed off with my email address.
He wrote back a little while later saying he was fine and would appreciate any job leads I had...and then he made a confession lol. It wasn't an "I've been longing for you since the moment I set eyes on you" type confession or anything. Basically he commented on some of my cube decor and said that he had thought of playing a trick on me where he would switch some of it out to see if I noticed. His comment was pretty funny and made me l-o-l. He ended it with an "I don't know why I told you that," which kind of makes me think there's a reason for his messaging. That's the kind of think I'd say when I'm flirting. In fact, he kind of reminds me of my exbf (Mayor Baby) who was very outgoing in the same way.
I don't know. I could be so sleep deprived that I'm reading too much into it. Maybe I'm too skeptical of people. Maybe there is a reason for him messaging me, maybe there isn't. After all, he's new to the area. Maybe he just wants more friends. I think one of the girls at work said she thinks he has a gf because she saw him with a girl at the grocery store. Who knows?
I guess most of all, it's just nice that someone who's leaving but who doesn't really know me, WANTS to get to know me and keep in touch.
January 19, 2012
P.S.
I'm in a book club now with mid-to-late 20-something girls/women at work. I READ now. Oh my effing gee.
<3
<3
Mayor Baby or Baby Mayor
My friend and I are going to this concert in the summer and it turns out this band called Mayer Hawthorne is also on the bill. A former bf (from the entry where he IM'd me and called me baby and I ran away from the IM lol) is working and possibly traveling with that group as one of his recent gigs so I may end up running into him. I'm not sure I know what I'd do if that happened. I have a history of never seeing a BF in person after we've broken up. I talk to one every so often online, but never actually see them face to face. I've definitely avoided this one like The Plague. I'm not even sure that I'd be able to act like a normal person if I saw him in front of me. I've changed a lot since I was 25 and in "love" with him, but seeing him may bring me back to the (more) awkward girl I was back then.
WHY GOD WHY? etc
I keep running these scenarios through my head where I see him but play it cool by teasing him about the sound for the opening band being bad (which would be partially his responsibility) to scenarios where I go diva on him and give him attitude for treating me the way he did while we were together. He was 25 at the time we dated, too, so maybe he's learned some lessons himself. Even though I was extremely disappointed by the way things ended, deep down I always wanted to at least be friends with him--but NEVER on his terms. I wanted him to apologize and WANT to be my friend rather than being my friend because it was convenient for him. No matter what shit he pulled, I'd just want to be given the opportunity to forgive him because he was sorry. Face to face, not over instant message.
At least I have an incredibly smart and attractive boyfriend now. He's almost five years younger than me and has a lot of learning to do, but I guess I don't mind too much being a cougar. It's just too bad he's getting his MA in England and won't be in town for the concert.
In other news, because of this potentially uncomfortable situation, the ex bf's new code name is Mayor Baby or Baby Mayor. Haven't really decided yet.
WHY GOD WHY? etc
I keep running these scenarios through my head where I see him but play it cool by teasing him about the sound for the opening band being bad (which would be partially his responsibility) to scenarios where I go diva on him and give him attitude for treating me the way he did while we were together. He was 25 at the time we dated, too, so maybe he's learned some lessons himself. Even though I was extremely disappointed by the way things ended, deep down I always wanted to at least be friends with him--but NEVER on his terms. I wanted him to apologize and WANT to be my friend rather than being my friend because it was convenient for him. No matter what shit he pulled, I'd just want to be given the opportunity to forgive him because he was sorry. Face to face, not over instant message.
At least I have an incredibly smart and attractive boyfriend now. He's almost five years younger than me and has a lot of learning to do, but I guess I don't mind too much being a cougar. It's just too bad he's getting his MA in England and won't be in town for the concert.
In other news, because of this potentially uncomfortable situation, the ex bf's new code name is Mayor Baby or Baby Mayor. Haven't really decided yet.
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