Well, that didn't work

The agent gave me the lease for the place I wanted and line #35 was a warning about hazardous materials being on the premises. When I asked what they were or where these materials were, he said he'd ask the owner, but basically my answer was, "They are not required by law to disclose that information." Then the pet agreement I had to sign basically said I would have to get a $1mil insurance policy for my two little birdies. When I asked them to waive it because it was excessive, the owner agreed it was excessive and said people usually got $300,000 policies for their pets and that that price would be OK. The only pet insurance I could find was for dogs and cats--NONE for birds. And then the largest sum of money they'd pay out is $700 for a $20/mo plan. I can't even imagine how much per month it would be for a $300k plan. No way was I going to sign off on either of those.

(Needless to say?) I did not accept the place. Luckily the agent was very understanding and actually waived the $50 fee that I should've had to have paid because they offered the place and I declined. Now I'm looking harder and probably going to move to the city. I don't know who's going to find a place first, my roommate & her bf or me. It's pretty stressful.

Also, my poor uncle just passed away after having been sick for years. I can't spend money to fly down there for the services since moving is going to cost several thousands of dollars, so I have to drive 7.5 hours with my family down to southern CA. My mom's stressed out and I'm getting mad because of the way everything's being handled re: the family. It's like my mom was surprised that my sister and I wanted to go. Like she expected us not to care enough to go down since we didn't live down there to know our uncle as well as we could have. I mean, she was happy/glad that we wanted to go, but it makes me wonder what all the other family will think. Both my sister and I were second-guessing our decision to go. Whenever we go down there to visit, our cousins and aunts are great and we all get along fine. I do sense a tension(?) though since my sister and I were brought up in a different area from the one they all grew up in. They bonded and grew up with each other and we didn't get to bond with many of them until we were older. I just don't want to be teary-eyed at the services and have my extended family think it's fake or something since I didn't know him as well as they did.

Just because you don't know someone well doesn't mean you can't feel sad and care that they're gone. It also doesn't mean that it doesn't break your heart to know that your family members have lost multiple immediate family members and that it's going to be painful to have to cope with another loss.

God, I really hope this "unwelcomeness" vibe we're getting is just in our heads, that it's just because she's stressed and overwhelmed and not dealing with her emotions. My sister and I really, really do care about our extended family and the last thing we'd want to do at a time like this is to appear like we're there because we thought we had to be.

It's time for bed now. Then more housing hunting tomorrow and the rest of the weekend. Good night.