God is the tenant who won't move out

There are only so many people who understand.

(One.)

I either need to believe-----------------
Or I need not to believe.

Hyphens make me feel so much more dramatic and emphasassy.

I don't know about all this Catholicism. All this God in my head. I'm afraid to believe and I'm afraid not to believe. Sometimes at night on the weekends, I'll talk myself into believing there are ghosts behind me who move quickly as I turn my head to see if they're actually there. It's perfect. No one to save me. I'm excellent at scaring myself. And scarring myself. If God exists, Catechism tells me the ghosts do, too. You can't have God without the demons. Hum a little hymn. Take the God with the bad.

As of late, all I can handle is a Hail Mary as I psych myself to sleep. A woman wouldn't hurt me, but a man on the other hand...

-----------

P.S. What do all the Christianities have against Mary, anyway? Jealous much?

at odds with god

I just am.



sad
    sad
        sad


dad.